Following Your Spiritual Compass On Your Path of Self-Discovery with Lauren Schwarzfeld

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Has someone ever said to you, “That’s just the story you’re telling yourself?” On today’s episode of Adventures with Spirit, we’re unpacking what this phrase actually means when it comes to self-discovery work.

We’ve invited our friend and best-selling author Lauren Schwarzfeld to help add some clarity to this discussion, as she shares her own experience of using her Spiritual Compass to find True North on her path of self-discovery. If you’ve ever felt lost or confused about what path to follow in life, listen in to Lauren’s story for tips and insights on how to start trusting yourself and tapping into your own Spiritual Compass.

This episode, we discuss:

[01:41] A reflection on the past season’s exploration of exploring self
[03:11] An explanation of the phrases ‘spiritual compass’ and ‘True North”
[05:08] Lauren’s story: from spreadsheets to alignment
[08:18] The roles of auto-pilot and alignment along our path of connecting to ourselves
[13:06] How Lauren learned to trust herself enough to stop doing the things she hated
[17:27] Figuring out True North and understanding your story as a whole
[19:47] Shifting the scripts in the stories we tell ourselves
[23:51] Techniques to bring in all the things that you love and release things you don’t
[29:56] A reflection on what Lauren’s ‘Get Curious’ techniques can teach us
[34:29] Lauren’s notes on finding the best expressions for you and how to find her
[35:45] A recap of the episode and thoughts on our responsibility in writing our own stories
[37:35] What’s coming next for Adventures With Spirit

[01:41] A reflection on the past season’s exploration of exploring self

The entire theme for this season’s podcast was understanding self, and we covered so much ground. We discussed belief systems and archetypes, meditation and mindfulness, Akashic records, soul contracts and much, much more.

We really enjoyed guiding you through ways to understand yourself on a deeper level and, as we approach our last episode of this podcast season, we are already finding ourselves ready and  excited to bring you more amazing episodes in the next.

[03:11] An explanation of the phrases ‘spiritual compass’ and ‘True North”

When we say the phrase spiritual compass, we’re referring to how you get your bearings as you work through your journey. Your spiritual compass is made up of core points like your own unique evolution, values, intentions, emotional awareness, and purpose, which really helps you find your way.

True North is the idea of staying in alignment and figuring out how to move forward. One thing to keep in mind about True North is that it isn’t always the same direction every time. Our lives are always changing, and as that happens, our True North will also change.

[05:08] Lauren’s story: from spreadsheets to alignment

Before Lauren became a coach, she struggled to find her passion, even though she did all the things that she was “supposed” to do, like going to college and starting a day job as an accountant. Quickly after starting her role in accounting, she knew that an office job was not meant to be her path.

Over time, she began to make small tweaks to try and find something that she enjoyed but eventually realized that she needed a more substantial change. She began to reflect on what had fulfilled her in her previous jobs, asking herself detailed questions to really discover what would make her happy and feel in alignment.

[08:18] The roles of auto-pilot and alignment along our path of connecting to ourselves

We often hear people ask, “How do I know what my path is and whether I’m on or off of it?” While we believe that there are certainly detours that you can take along your path, we don’t believe that you can ever truly be “off of it.” We love how Lauren discusses this topic, addressing alignment and autopilot along our paths.

We can sometimes be involved in something that starts out feeling aligned, but then we stop checking in with ourselves. Suddenly something changes, and we find ourselves wondering how long we’ve been continuing that specific journey without feeling purpose or connection to it. We begin to wonder if we’ve changed, if the task or situation changed, or if we’re doing it wrong. When we stop checking in with ourselves regularly, we go into an autopilot mode, not recognizing when it’s time for us to take a different direction or act in a different way.

Alignment helps us make those shifts. When we're actively living in alignment with our authenticity, then there's a natural shifting that happens and when we pay attention, we can step out of autopilot and work the story in different ways.

Lauren also feels that people as a whole tend to put a lot of pressure on what things are supposed to be, that we feel this pressure to make the process of finding yourself, digging deep, and working through the hard stuff look a really specific way that might not necessarily be the way that is authentic, or in alignment with who they actually are.

[13:06] How Lauren learned to trust herself enough to stop doing the things she hated

When you’re trying to connect with yourself, Lauren has found that there are two things that make the biggest impact: You have to check in with yourself often and you have to slow down.

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For Lauren, checking in with yourself is a constant process of asking what fits, what you’re feeling, and why. “Am I feeling cranky right now because I don’t like what I’m doing, or am I feeling cranky right now because I’m not doing it the way I’m supposed to be doing it?”

For a long time, Lauren felt like she didn't enjoy being a mother. After taking the time to slow down and check in with herself, she found that what was actually happening was that she was trying to be a mother the way that people around her were mothering their children. She was trying to do all the things that she didn’t like doing: baking brownies, being a part of the PTA, being a stay at home mom. While these things can bring joy to some, she found joy in different aspects of mothering, and so she shifted her focus. When she stopped trying to imitate what other people were doing, she enjoyed it so much more.

[17:27] Figuring out True North and understanding your story as a whole

In our Spiritual Compass class, we talk a lot about the ways to tap into our True North by asking questions like, “What are your values and intentions?” “What are the emotions coming up in you?” These questions help you figure out your True North. It’s important to note that True North can look like a lot of things, but as long as you have that compass, you can know that you're not going to veer into a “ditch” along the way. When you bring in awareness of your values, it can help you see if there’s a small shift or a big change that needs to happen, and it helps you understand your story as a whole. This is what happened for Lauren when she began to reflect on the values that made her feel aligned in her work versus the fragmented drive to always be working and seeking out a stable position.

[19:47] Shifting the scripts in the stories we tell ourselves

Often we find ourselves thinking, this is just a story I’m telling myself, and we begin to shame ourselves, telling ourselves that we should be able to think our way out or just think better thoughts, but that’s not really how it works.

Instead of “this is just a story I’m telling myself,” we can shift to the perspective that “this is the story that I’m in currently.” When we shift to this view, we begin to pull ourselves out of the story, gaining a better perspective on the situation instead of trying to ignore it, bypass it, or shame ourselves out of it.

Andrea mentions that this can be difficult to do sometimes, as she is able to help others shift out of that perspective but often uses those words for herself. She’ll say, “Andrea, you're just telling yourself this story right now. And you need to move it along.” When she has this thought, it brings her into the awareness that she’s not ”in the center of the lane.”

Lauren suggests that sometimes you need to write these thoughts out so that you can then put them away. When you write about these situations, it can often diffuse overwhelming feelings, lessening the attachment to the situation. This can help you to rewrite the story to see it in a more positive light, or to simply see it from an outside perspective, which can aid in the healing process.

This is a technique that Lauren uses to help her clients create space in their lives so that they’re able to bring in all the things that they love, and release the things that they do not.

[23:51] Techniques to bring in all the things that you love and release things you don’t

When guiding people through self-discovery work, Lauren usually begins using an “I Am” statement exercise. In this exercise, you write out 100 statements, or as many as you can, that reflect who you want to be or what you want to feel. When you feel like you are unable to write any more, Lauren gives a challenge to write 10 more statements, and then she reflects on the statements with you and begins to look for themes.

Some other questions she may ask may include, “What are the things you want or need in order to feel like your favorite version of yourself?” It can be logistical things like food, housing, childcare, or a job, and then she’ll guide through a reflection of finding action steps you can take in order to have those things. In this exercise, she begins to combine wants, needs, and action steps to help you find the path forward for you.

Lauren notes that, in her work, she’s constantly noticing how amazing it is that even the smallest shifts can really change how you feel about yourself, your life, and how you feel about possibility.

[29:56] A reflection on what Lauren’s ‘Get Curious’ techniques can teach us

When Lauren uses her “Get Curious” technique and questions within her coaching, she makes sure that each person knows that their journey is going to look completely different. She poses questions to make them look inward, turning off the external influences and noise to really listen to and find their True North calling. No one is going to figure out their life in one writing exercise, but learning how to listen to yourself is one of the biggest, and perhaps most important, steps you can take on your self-discovery journey.

[34:29] Lauren’s notes on finding the best expressions for you and how to find her

Lauren notes that she chooses writing as a way to express herself because it’s what speaks to her. If you’re someone who hears the phrase write it out and cringes, that’s okay! You can express yourself in many ways, and the important thing is to find what speaks to you.

If you’d like to hear or read more from Lauren, you can check out her website, her Instagram, or find her books on Amazon or at your local bookstore.

[35:45] A recap of the episode and thoughts on our responsibility in writing our own stories

We really love today’s topic of writing your own story, which we feel just ties in beautifully with what we've been talking about all season. It's about truly understanding ourselves and how we move through the world. Andrea feels that this helps us to navigate the adventure more easily and with more awareness, which for her translates into responsibility.

Responsibility is a word that reflects our conversation today very well. Jessica loved that Lauren’s story brought up the fact that finding your TrueNorth can be a winding road at times, and that when we try to force a direct connection from point A to point Z we often end up missing some vital steps and information between.

[37:35] What’s coming next for Adventures With Spirit

We have one more episode this season on the Adventures With Spirit podcast, which will be dropping in two weeks! We’ll be doing one of our favorite things, a live reading, and we’ll also have an extended episode of a live reading coming out in a few weeks as well. Make sure you’re staying connected and in the loop by signing up for our newsletter at www.adventureswithspirit.com.

Once you get on the list, you're going to hear about all kinds of fun things we have planned for Adventures With Spirit, including a couple of opportunities to be in the room with us live! We have a free workshop coming up in May 2023, where we’ll be focusing on all the different aspects of your spiritual compass, helping you discover and piece it all together to find your purpose.

We also have a live automatic writing workshop, which is one of Jessica’s all-time favorite things to do. If you want more details on what automatic writing is, you can check out this previous episode of the podcast.

On top of all that excitement, the doors to the Spiritual Evolution Collective are opening up in May!. Previously inside the collective we’ve done clair development circles on finding purpose and exploring ego, meditations, classes, and lots of other magic and it’s all available inside the group’s library.

Make sure you subscribe to our newsletter so you don’t miss out on what’s to come!

If you loved this episode, or have questions about our topics today, go ahead and send us an email at hello@adventureswithspirit.com and remember to subscribe to our newsletter to get access to extended episodes and live reading opportunities!

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